THE BEST T-SHIRTS IN THE KNOWN WORLD ARE FOUND AT THE PORK SHOP. 

CHEWIN’ OUT A RHYTHM ON MY BUBBLEGUM!!! SUN IS OUT & I WANT SOME!!! BUBBLEGUM!!! I’M YOUNG, DUMB & FULL OF BUBBLEGUM!!! AAHHHHHH CHEWY!!! CHEWY CHEWY CHEWY!!! I’LL GIVE YA SOMETHIN’ TO CHEW ON!!! DON’T LIKE THE WAY I’M LIVIN’? DON’T WANNA SEE ME ON THE STREET? THINK I’M TALKIN’ TOO LOUD? WELL BLOW ME!!! BUBBLEGUM RED/PINK ON SAPPHIRE BLUE. ART BY NOTORIOUS WEIRDO ARTIST SEAN AABERG. EACH T-SHIRT COMES WITH A MINI BUBBLEGUM COMIX ZINE & A PIECE OF BUBBLEGUM!!! AT THE PORK SHOP!!!

DISTILLED FROM THE SECRET WORLD OF BAD KIDS, BLITZKRIEG BUTTONS BLOW A BIG BUBBLE INTO YOUR BOTTOM. LIONS. PIZZA. JUGHEAD JONES. FLYING SAUCERS ARE REAL! (I KNOW, I’VE BEEN ABDUCTED), NEW YORK HOT DOG, OFFICIAL MEMBER OF THE ARCHIE CLUB, SKARY SKULLS, MAD MAGAZINE, I HEART BUBBLEGUM, THE PURPLE PEOPLE EATER, A FRIEND WITH WEED, GIMME DAT & I SURVIVED MY BABY SITTERS TOO! THERE WERE SOME GREAT ONES IN THE 80S. RASTA GOTH. AT THE PORK SHOP.

PART OF THE PORK DEAL IS THE GUM WALL. EVERY TOWN SHOULD HAVE A GUM WALL. WE STARTED ONE IN WEST OAKLAND. I THINK ME & KATIE WERE THE ONLY ONES PARTICIPATING, UNLESS YOU COUNT THE CRACKHEADS COMING & EATING THE GUM OFF THE WALL. SO RESOURCEFUL. ANYHOW, IF YOU DON’T GOT ONE IN YOUR TOWN, START IT. DON’T STOP. TELL THE CHILDREN. IF YOU START ONE THEY WILL GUM.

BACK IN STOCK & OUR MAIL ORDER ROOM SMELLS LIKE A JAPANESE GROCERY STORE AGAIN! YUMMY & SO ORIGINAL!!! IMPORTED FROM DARKEST JAPAN! MARUKAWA FUSEN TATTOO BUBBLEGUM!!! RADICAL CARICATURE LOOKING CIRCUS BEAR ON THE WRAPPER! TOTALLY COOL TATTOO ON THE INSIDE!!! MAN! FOUR PIECES FOR A DOLLAR!!! RADICAL!!! AT THE PORK CANDY SHOP!!!

LADIES! WITH POLICE FORCES BEING CUT ACROSS THE COUNTRY & THE ECONOMY IN THE SHITTER, IT’S TIME TO TAKE YOUR SAFETY INTO YOUR OWN HANDS!!! THIS ADORABLE PINK COMB LOOKS LIKE JUST AN ORDINARY BARBIE-TYPE COMB UPON FIRST GLANCE BUT WHEN YOU PULL THE HANDLE OUT COMBS A DANGEROUS STAINLESS STEEL BLADE!!! KYAH! COMB & HANDLE ARE MADE OF HIGH IMPACT PLASTIC. BLADE IS 3.25” LONG & READY TO ROCK! AT THE PORK SHOP!!!

JUGHEAD CROWN OR BUTTON BEANIE AS WORN BY JUVENILE DELINQUENTS JUGHEAD JONES, JEFF GOLDBLUM IN DEATH WISH, GOOBER PYLE, ASSORTED EAST-SIDE KIDS & BOWERY BOYS & OUR OWN GUMBALL JERRY. MADE OF 100% WOOL FELT IN AMERICA, HIGHEST QUALITY WOOL CONSTRUCTION. NO SEAMS! NOTHING TO TEAR OR FALL APART - VIRTUALLY INDESTRUCTABLE. STURDY & THICK. ATTACH AS MANY BLITZKRIEG BUTTONS AS YOU CAN POSSIBLY IMAGINE! NOSTALGIC, THROWBACK DESIGN TO THE ORIGINS OF THE TEENAGER ON THE MEAN STREETS OF NEW YORK CITY!!! ONE SIZE FITS ALL!!! AT THE PORK SHOP!!!

Open publication - Free publishing - More bad ideas

PORK #9 IS ONLINE & ON THE STREETS. THE REAL WAY TO READ PORK IS ON THE STREETS, NOT ON THE CYBERTRON LIKE A NERD, BUT IT’S THE FUTURE SO YOU CAN LOOK AT DIGITAL IF YOU WANNA.

DIG THIS!!! OUR TOP TRASHY TOTEMS RENDERED IN BLOOD RED & MIDNIGHT BLACK. ENTER A WILD WORLD OF CARTOONY CHAOS & SLEAZY CHEESE! A 15” X 20” RADICAL TWO COLOR SCREEN PRINT ON DURABLE CANVAS THAT CAN WORK AS AN INTENSE POSTER FOR YOUR RUMPUS ROOM, CLUBHOUSE, VAN OR WEIRDO PAD, CAN BE CUT UP INTO 20 3”X3” PATCHES FOR YOUR DENIM & WHATEVER ELSE OR SEWN ONTO THE BACK OF YOUR CUT SLEEVES AS A BACK PATCH. PRINTED BY OUR HOMIE REVO AT NOCTURNE. AT THE PORK SHOP!!!!

CREATED SHORTLY AFTER WWII IN THE USA BY TOPPS OF BROOKLYN, NEW YORK. BAZOOKA GUM CAME PACKAGED IN PATRIOTIC RED, WHITE & BLUE. STARTING IN 1953 THE GUM INCLUDED LITTLE COMIC STRIPS WITH THE CHARACTER “BAZOOKA JOE” TO READ & COLLECT. BAZOOKA GUM HAS REMAINED VIRTUALLY UNCHANGED SINCE ITS INCEPTION!!! WE CARRY BOTH AMERICAN TOPPS & ISRAELI ELITE BAZOOKA GUM!!! FOUR PIECES FOR A DOLLAR!!! AT THE PORK CANDY SHOP!!! MAZOOMA!!! BUBBLEGUM GREASE!!!

THAT CHICK’S ROLLING STONE JUST DID A NIP SLIP, I’M GONNA MAKE IT TO THE TOP LIKE KING KONG BABY, THE PUNK PANTHER LOOKS LIKE A FUNK PANTHER, BUT WHERE IS THE BURGER MY BURGER? BLOWING MINDS & BALANCING THE SPYS LIKE A ULTRAMAN, KISS MY BUBBLEGUM, CHOKE MY FLAMINGO, WATER MY JOHN, BOWIE & BURROUGHS & A CLOCWORK ORANGE, LEANING ON DIVINITY & THE STONES AGIN. AT THE PORK SHOP!!!

WE PUT OUR MONEY WHERE YOUR MOUTH IS & STARTED TO CARRY WILD & WEIRD & CLASSIC GUM! CHEWING GUM IS A CRIME IN SCHOOL! DELICIOUS MINIATURE MEXICAN CHEWING GUM FROM THE SWEATY, DUSTY, CACTUSY MEXICAN HINTERLANDS!!! A VARIETY OF RADICAL FLAVORS ARE CERTAIN TO PLEASE!!! MENTA, FRUTAS, EUCALIPTO, RON, YERBA BUENA, NARANJA, CANELA & OTHERS POSSIBLY!!! 10 FOR A DOLLAR!!! AT THE PORK CANDY SHOP!!!

THIS GNARLY CAT IS ALL ABOUT THE SQUIRTING CENTERS OF THIS BUBBALOO BANANA BUBBLEGUM!!! THE ORIGINAL SQUIRTING CENTER GUM, ORIGINATING FROM MEXICO IN THE 80S! THIS GUM SQUIRTS INTO YOUR MOUTH JUST LIKE A BIG BUBBALOO! AFTER THE INITIAL SHOCK IS OVER YOU CAN JUST HANG OUT & CHEW THAT DELICIOUS BANANA BUBBLEGUM & THINK ABOUT GNARLY CATS! CHEW! CHEWWWW!!! FOUR PIECES FOR A DOLLAR!! AT THE PORK CANDY SHOP!!!

THE PORK SHOP KNOCKED DOWN A COUPLE WALLS & PAINTED BLUE & MAGENTA STRIPES ON EVERYTHING & WE GOT A CANDY SHOP GOING!!! RIGHT NOW WE’VE GOT BAZOOKA GUM, ORIGINAL 1928 FLAVOR DUBBLE BUBBLE GUM & MARUKAWA FUSEN TATTOO GUM!!! SWEET! SWEET! YUMMY! YUMMY! AT THE PORK CANDY SHOP!!! AND FOR 2013 WE’RE GOING TO BE PRODUCING OUR OWN CANDIES JUST LIKE THAT DUDE BILLY BONKA!!! WHOAH!!!!